Part 12

Closing in on a new, sexier territory and "boss" monster (not "boss" in the slightly larger version of a regular creature like the last few ants/blobs, but in the monsterous creature that sucks up a ton of abuse while delivering a lot in return). Also more dialogue, what with the sidekick and all

Well hello yourself. Big title or not, this is no place for a little guy like yourself to be wandering around unsupervised! It's no wonder you got yourself locked in a closet

Looking for your brother, huh? Let me just cut you off right there, I know where this is going

THanks for asking about how I'm doing. I'm only the guy that saved you, but it's cool. I can wait until you're done with your spiel before I ask anything

Just how small is your brother? That room is only two squares with a bag of wheat at the far end, exactly how Horatio Cane Supercop did you have to get in there before being sure he wasn't in the wheat bag? At this pace you'll never make it to the noxious pink fountain

Throggish?

How's that for prophetic?

Brethern? Sorry Farli Mowatt of the Chaka Khan, I don't speak Dwarf. If you come to this part of the keep you should learn the local language of english and the local currency of rape dollars. Speaking of which, recovery is very costly round these parts

Throgs sound a lot like a guy I used to know topside. He'd take many a warrior from behind as well, and I recall himself mentioning something about splitting like a log

But if you start pointing out the flagrantly obvious, we may have to do the man-dance. The bloody one, not the fun one.

I can think of a few ways to start paying that debt. For starters, I want you to kick Wahooga in the nuts. If he has nuts, I'm actually kind of uncertain as to what exactly he is. But then, nothing ventured, nothing gained

Nice! A new sword! I'm always looking for new and improved weaponry! Kindly hand it to me and we can begin questing together

Or throw it on the floor. Whatever. Seems like it would have been easier just to hand it to me as you walked by, but I guess the operative term in "human decency" is the human part.

While picking up this random throwing axe let's sneak a peak in Afri's Mirror at our newfound travelling compatriot in short, stubby arms. Chainmail, nice helmet, green pants. Shit, this guy makes me look like a fashion catastrophe, I'm going to need to find some swankier threads and fast

What's that? Oh, yeah, it's a ghost wall, Farls. We can just walk on through, I've been through a few myself. Let's see what's on the otherside, shall we?

Ha, it's this cat again. He's worth a million laughs Farley. Too cowardly to even fight. Course he was never knocked out from behind and locked in a closet, so at least he's got that going for him

What the shit is this nonsense, you've got more health than me? That's just great. Better armour, health, longer name. And you've even got a better quest. Searching for your lost brother? That's something we can all get behind. What am I even doing here again? Hunting for balls because a shiny ghost torso told me to? Glorified castle pokemon if you ask me

All this sewer talk is causing much action in frontal pants area

Throw a human skull at me will you? I'll take you to school and sit you at a desk

Now you've got a face full of human skull! Most fucked up game of catch ever!

That's swell, but how about you save the observations for when we aren't currently battling your sworn enemies, the creatures you apparently hate more than frozen underpants and may have even cooked your brother? Sometimes it seems like I'm the only one carrying the torch for genocide in this relationship

These guys have quite the stash of bottless of liquid blue. I don't need it or use it but I'll be damned if I'm going to leave it for someone who can

Closer to where? You haven't appeared, you're just talking from the ceiling somewhere. Maybe you aren't even talking to me, this could be coincidence for all I know

We're so close I can almost taste it!

Not that I'm a sissy or anything, it's just that, uh...Farley is real interested, yeah, I'm asking for him. Cause he's kind of a pansy. Knocked out in a closet, don't you know

What? That wasn't part of the deal at all, Thera! This is fucking bogus, I feel like one of the characters on Lost! Oh, you only mean in the "inevitably doomed" sense, not in the "already dead and in limbo" sense like the Lost guys will be. I know what the creators said, but they're full of shit. It's either aliens/technology or they're dead

See, I can ask questions every bit as asinine as your "tips"

Right, the tusk is a key. To open the door I need a key. You never fail to dissapoint space chud

Jokes on you walooka, I already killed the guy with the key. Score one for the bad guys!

On the way back, why don't I stop in on this second snake filled room. The second was so much fun that I can't imagine this one being anything less than awesome

By Farley's dead brother's beard, that thing's a monster! In both size and severity of being disgusting!